In January I mentioned that I had cleaned out my closet. As I sorted through clothing, I asked the usual questions:
– Does this fit?
– Does it make me feel good?
– Have I worn it in the past few years?
Based on just those questions, I would’ve had one bag of stuff to get rid of.
But this year I added a question that I had recently read: “Does this fit who you are becoming?” Whoa. Now I had three bags.
And it wasn’t because I could succinctly answer the question “who am I becoming?” I know what my values and strengths are, but I am evolving as a person. A lot to this feels like smoke – not something I can grab on to. Instead I thought about “What do I want more of?” “What do I want less of?” And, “How does who I am becoming want to feel?”
What I found for my work self (and wardrobe) is that I am becoming more unapologetically myself. That person wants to dress comfortably. She wants to be professional in work situations, but there’s no need to be overdressed or the best dressed; I don’t need a costume to prop me up or to convince others of my worth. I know what I bring to the table, and I just want to be a person and let other people be themselves, too. (Goodbye suits that I haven’t worn in a decade!)
So you don’t have to be able to answer “who you are becoming” in 25 words or less in order to determine if a sweater, situation, person, or belief fits who you’re becoming. Just take this question into different areas of your life: work, community, friendships. Ask “does this fit who I am becoming?” Notice the feelings. What are you drawn to? What are you ready to let go of?
It’s ok to not have everything figured out. Do be aware though, that a lack of a plan, is a plan in itself. Even when we think we don’t have a plan, we are working a subconscious plan. And the plan’s results are the life you’re currently living. Whether you want to or not, you are evolving.
So think about who you are and who you want to become. Get a picture in your head of him or her or them. What do you need to do – or let go of – to move towards that person?
Maybe it’s to let go of some old clothes; maybe it’s releasing a job or relationship that isn’t good for you. Maybe it’s time to create a bucket list or start your own company or move to Alaska. Maybe it’s a more subtle, internal shift as you learn to take care of, accept, or love yourself.
Who are you becoming?
Enjoy the journey.
p.s. As always, your comments are welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching.Read More