So disappointing…
At the turn of the year, I sometimes post a blog about my dislike of New Year’s resolutions. Instead I talk about some of the things that I find more worthwhile such as goal-setting or a word/phrase of the year or asking myself some big questions.
This year, I missed my January blog entirely. I experienced the perfect storm, which included an actual snowstorm as well as a very busy client and presenting schedule and moving into a new house.
My January focus narrowed down to just work and moving. When I wasn’t on Zoom, I rarely sat down. I struggled to get my workouts in. I ate some weird meals. I neglected friends and family. I packed and unpacked so many boxes. I went to bed tired and got up tired.
I’m guessing that during that period, I may have disappointed some people… I had to say “no” to folks, due to zero flexibility in my schedule. I was leaving my beloved landlords. I wasn’t available for people in my personal life, or I showed up briefly and flustered. Yes, it’s likely I disappointed someone.
I’m learning to be ok with that. I mean, I don’t feel great about disappointing people, but I know that sometimes folks won’t like my choices – even when I am doing my best. And I know that sometimes I just can’t give-it-my-all enough to make others happy.
It is really difficult for many of us to disappoint others. (Yes, I see you, my fellow co-dependents!) The best you may be able to do is build some awareness around when you are twisting yourself into a pretzel for others. Notice how that makes you feel, both emotionally and physically. Accept that that is where you are right now.
Then, consider your options. Is there something you are able to do that you want to do for someone else? Does it take care of them at the expense of your own self-care, sleep or sanity? These are just choices; try to make healthy ones while keeping in mind that your circumstances will change. Your best will change. You will be able to invest in those important relationships again when this storm passes.
Crazy-busy times are an opportunity for personal growth: an opportunity to say “no,” to practice disappointing others, and to learn to be with the feelings it causes you. Now, there’s a worthy goal for 2024!
p.s. As always, your comments are welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching.