I often like to choose a word or phrase at the end of December, since I’m not much for new year’s resolutions. (Most resolutions fail in approximately three weeks.)

I was talking to a friend recently, and she said her phrase for 2022 would be “I’m not f*cking with that.”

I told her I wanted to want to say that mine was “I’m open,” but the best I could do was “I might be open.” And then I realized the full phrase was “I might be open to f*cking with that.”

All joking – and cursing – aside, you may be clear on what you want or don’t want next. You may have the energy to back up that clarity and move forward. You may have goals you want to set and work toward. Good for you!

Or if you lack clarity but might be open, have a look at the image on the right. There are some great questions there to ponder. Maybe they point to what you need to stay aware of or the general direction you should head.

Or if now is a time to conserve energy, just consider question #6: “In what ways will I take better care of myself in 2022?” Remember this may be physically, spiritually, mentally or emotionally. Your health and self-care are always an excellent use of your energy. Then, when you are recharged, you can ask yourself what you might be open to f*cking with.

Wishing you all the best in 2022!

p.s. As always, your comments are welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching.

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What if you’re grateful, but don’t quite feel it?

I mean, this year has been a doozy. Sometimes I’m tired or focused on the negative – or I remember to look at the positive, but just feel kind of numb.

That’s ok; I think that’s a call to extreme self-care. Slow down, take care of yourself, and find the power of the nap. Or a walk in the sunshine. Or a chat with a favorite friend. Everyone rejuvenates a different way, and as we continue to re-enter the world, our favorite ways to “fill our cups” are becoming available again.

Once you get that little bit of self-care, it can be easier to pause for a moment and find your attitude of gratitude. Still having trouble? Write a list of around 10 things you are grateful for. As you re-read your list, you may start to feel the gratitude creeping in. (That’s because our brains believe that what we write down is true. Cool, right?!)

This year? I’m grateful for you – and for my work and my clients who inspire me all year long. I’m grateful for my friends, family and boyfriend. I’m grateful that I have everything I need (i.e., a new hot water heater) and so much of what I want (i.e., a new plant on the window sill). I’m grateful for the progress I’ve made in the past 12 months with my broken elbow and frozen shoulder. (I’m back in yoga!) And I’m grateful for the small things that fill my cup like outdoor dates on sunny fall days, seeing a doggo eat a puppachino, and watching some football on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Looking at that paragraph I just wrote, a smile has come to my face. Try writing your list and see if some of that fatigue or numbness doesn’t disappear. I’d love to hear what you are grateful for. I hope you’ll share at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching

If you’d like even more thoughts on gratitude, here are my blogs from the last 7 (!) years:

• https://jenfrankcoaching.com/2020/11/gratitude-and-a-broken-elbow/
• https://jenfrankcoaching.com/2019/11/the-season-of-giving-thanks/
• https://jenfrankcoaching.com/2018/11/an-exercise-in-gratitude/
• https://jenfrankcoaching.com/2017/11/grateful-for-the-little-things/
• https://jenfrankcoaching.com/2016/11/what-are-you-grateful-for-today/
• https://jenfrankcoaching.com/2015/11/grateful/
• https://jenfrankcoaching.com/2014/11/gratitude/

Happy Thanksgiving!

ps An online career coaching group starts Dec 13 and there is room for one more! More details here: https://jenfrankcoaching.com/career-group/

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I had the opportunity this month to visit Taliesin West: visionary architect Frank Lloyd Wright’s Arizona winter home and school.

One of the things I got to experience on the tour was Wright’s use of “compression and release.” He would force a visitor through a small, tight entry space (the compression) before the person would pass into a larger space – and a feeling of freedom (the release).

I think life is like that, too. We go through new challenges that provide us with growth spurts. When we learn the difficult lesson that is in front of us, we often find new confidence and the release of leveling up in our lives and careers.

Growth can be tough and even painful. And sometimes it feels like multiple lessons are piled on us at once. (I know I have muttered an old Oprah prayer on occasion, “Lord, please don’t teach me anything new today.”)

But the real trick, I think, is to not avoid the challenge. The lesson may be hard, but it can be even more painful to remain small. It’s like the Anais Nin quote, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

The best we can hope for is that life serves us up right-sized lessons/compressions at a pace that isn’t overwhelming. And as we meet these challenges and grow, we are released into even better phases of life and work.

Where have you experienced compression and release in your life or career? Have you met those challenges – or tried to avoid them?

Here’s to your growth!

p.s. As always, your comments are welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching.

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A talented freelance graphic designer, Alec, participated in my autumn 2018 career coaching group. During one meeting, as Alec brought up podcasts yet again, I asked the group, “Who here thinks Alec needs to start his own podcast now?” All hands went up.

Sometimes it’s easy for others to see what we can’t see in ourselves. Indeed, Alec had the ideas, enthusiasm and technical know-how to start his podcast. Before the pandemic, his new podcast, named “Ideally” after his temperament, was a top 50 self-improvement podcast on Apple.

Then he put it on hold as he chased a bigger dream. He started Parasaur and facilitates the success of other folks’ podcasts by being a creative partner as well as doing all the technical stuff like recording and editing (see his services at parasaur.co). Today he has a thriving business.

Alec missed doing his own podcast though, and is starting it up once again. I was lucky enough to be invited on as a guest for the reboot of Ideally, which is largely aimed at creative entrepreneurs. We talked about a wide range of topics, from values to advice to books to having a successful business. And [bonus!] I got to meet the baby squirrel he was rehabbing! If you’d like to listen, here you go: https://www.parasaur.co/ideally/episode/24805e40/1-finding-your-purposeful-career-jen-frank

Have you been invited to be on a podcast, but felt a little reluctant or nervous? Here are my tips for being a guest:

1. Don’t worry. You were probably asked to be a guest because you know something about the topic. You can ask for the questions in advance, but I wouldn’t prepare much. Your authentic, unrehearsed answers will be great! And if you make a major mistake, the podcast creator can probably edit it out.
2. Yes, you’re interesting. Only you can tell your story. Your point of view is unique, so please share your knowledge, experience and wisdom. It will resonate with folks. Show up – and be kind to others and yourself…
3. Look for what’s right. If you talk for an hour, chances are you will say something weird. That’s ok. Look for what you said well. I confess, I haven’t listened to the podcast yet. I need to be in the right mood so I can be my own fan – and not pick apart what I failed to say eloquently. (And honestly, does anyone like the sound of their own voice?!)

Is there something helpful or inspiring you’ve been wanting to share? Maybe it’s a podcast, but a social media post will do. We want to hear from you!

Happy sharing!

p.s. As always, your comments are welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching.

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The Olympic athletes make their sports look easy. So easy that we sometimes think:
1. “that doesn’t look so hard; I could do that” OR
2. “that is impossible; you have to be born that way to be good at that”

If you’re a number 1, then I encourage you to go do the thing!

If you’re a number 2, then consider this…

People who are really strong at something may have some natural talent, but more often than not they get great at that thing because they practice. Over and over and over.

We see this with the Olympic athletes. They didn’t become the best in their events just because of natural talent. They ran, swam, rowed, sparred, flipped, balanced, studied and worked out. They showed up and practiced even on the days when they didn’t feel great.

There are a lot of everyday career skills that people often dismiss as being for other folks, too. I hear things like: ”presenting is for natural performers.” Or “networking is for extroverts.”

Well, I’m neither, but I can do both. Because I practiced.

I found the things I was passionate about and wanted to share, and I presented them. At first I was nervous, but now I (mostly) enjoy it. Do I wing it? Never! That’s not my style. What the pros taught me was that if you practice, it frees up your brain to stay in the moment and be in the conversation with your audience – instead of worrying about what you are going to say next. (I love that paradox; you have to practice in order to be natural!)

And working a room? That made this introvert all stinky sweaty. But I did it so often during my fundraising career, I found my style and got comfortable with it. I wouldn’t say I now enjoy working a room, but I can do it reasonably well. And without sweating.

There are so many career tasks we can get better at if we practice: interviewing, listening, giving feedback, etc. Don’t get discouraged if you aren’t great immediately. Model the behavior of all those Olympic athletes and practice – even on the days when you’d rather not. Remember, you get out of it what you put into it.

What’s one thing that would benefit you and your career if you practiced it? (Queue the Olympic theme music…)

Happy practicing!

p.s. As always, your comments are welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching.

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