Courage’s Missing Ingredient
Over the years I’ve written a lot on the topics of courage, confidence and comfort zones. So I love it when I see something new that expands my thinking.
Most of my clients come to coaching wanting to feel more confident. We have a discussion about how we build confidence: through having experiences. We talk about finding low-risk ways to activate our courage and try new things – and notice how we treat ourselves if we get a less-than-perfect result. (If we are kind, we are likely to try more new things. If we beat ourselves up, well, we become more afraid of trying new things.)
Many of us have heard that courage is feeling the fear and doing the thing anyway. But I read a twist on that idea recently. It said that “Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s choosing to act with love in spite of the fear.”
Oooohhhh… Not just choosing to act in spite of fear, but choosing specifically to act with love.
Well that got my wheels turning! Maybe it is love turned towards oneself such as self-compassion or self-care. But it might be showing love to another person. This opens up lots of new ways to grow in our courage and kindness. Here are some win-win-win examples:
– Perhaps someone has been difficult for me to work with. Instead of feeling irritated and frustrated, I ground myself in love and ask them to have a conversation so we can improve the relationship.
– Maybe I have a friendship that faded away or was strained. Perhaps I set any blame aside and reach out in love just to say I am thinking about them and hope they are well.
– Maybe I am terribly shy, but I go out of my way to welcome a new person at work or in the neighborhood.
All of these examples will work with just plain courage, but courage infused with love feels extra powerful!
What couldn’t your regular courage do that courage-with-love can? I’d love to hear your examples, whether they show courage and self-love or love for others! Comment here: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/jenfrankcoaching_many-of-us-have-heard-that-courage-is-feeling-activity-7386433223024726016-JNyS?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAAASsMQwBXB3ioZHRoAJHi_xNaf0m64PKsXk