Happiness (It’s an inside job!)

Posted by on August 11, 2014

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
—Albert Einstein

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln

I remember the first time I was told that I am 100% responsible for my own happiness.  I thought that perhaps the people in my life could collectively handle at least 10%!  That’s not how it works, but there is a big silver lining here.  If I am 100% responsible for my happiness, then I am not dependent on anyone else for my happiness.  My happiness is within my control.  Well, at least 40% of it is.

Scientific research tells us that our genetic set point for happiness makes up 50% of how happy we are.  Our circumstances (e.g., wealth, health, appearance, romantic relationships, etc.) only make up 10%.  Only 10%!  So if you’re a “I’ll be happy when” kind of person, know that when you get that thing you are after, you’ll be less happy than you think and for a shorter time.

The other 40% of our happiness is within our ability to influence.  How do we do that?  There are a lot of ways, but the actions that have been proven effective are outlined in Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book “The How of Happiness.”  The twelve happiness activities may sound corny or obvious; they are things like practicing gratitude and positive thinking, managing stress, living in the present, and committing to your goals.  (The book provides specific instructions and ways to keep the activities fresh as well as help finding which activities will be a good fit.)

If you are ready and willing to put in some effort, you really can make the choice to become happier.  With a little practice, you’ll not only be happy while you do an activity, but you’ll build new habits (i.e., automatic behaviors) that will help you to be happier over time with less effort.  If you’re ready for a change, give it a try!  Count your blessings, practice random acts of kindness, savor life’s joys, meditate, offer forgiveness, visit a friend, move toward your dreams…

Good luck and happy trails!