New View of Stress
I admit, I was sort of an odd kid. On long car rides, when most kids would impatiently ask “Are we there yet?,” I anxiously asked “Are we lost?” I suppose I’ve always been a bit of a worrier. Those of you who regularly read my blog may have noticed some common themes: relieving stress, reducing negative thoughts, letting go, letting it be, etc. These blogs contain many of the principles I practice, and I am happy to report that all are helpful and effective – and come more easily over time with repetition. While some of us may have a natural tendency to worry, we can still learn to lessen that stress.
Recently a trusted adviser noted that I seem to do best when juggling a number of things professionally and having multiple irons in the fire. He matter-of-factly said, “you deal from a high level of nervous energy.” He said this so free of judgment that I was actually able to hear it for the first time without judgment. What if I simply accepted that it is part of my innate disposition to function with a certain amount of worry and stress?
That doesn’t let me off the hook for taking care of myself, but it would allow me to be more self-accepting and not worry about being a worrier! In fact, research is showing that believing that stress is bad for your health, is actually what’s bad for you – not the stress itself! Research shows that when people thought of stress – and the physical stress response – as helpful (e.g., prepping the body for action or helping one rise to a challenge), it changed their physical response and relaxed their blood vessels during stress.
For more on the research, have a look at this enlightening TED Talk by Kelly McGonigal: “How to make stress your friend.” You’ll also learn more about how stress motivates you to strengthen close relationships by getting and giving support.
So maybe the real challenge here is not to try to change who or how I am, but instead to change my thinking. I can use the many tools I have to take care of myself and accept who I am without judgment as well as start to see stress as something that helps me rise to the challenges in my life and support others in meeting their own. And suddenly, I feel more relaxed.
What is your current relationship like with stress and worry? What do you believe about stress? How could changing your thinking help you to be healthier, more relaxed and more resilient?
Big sigh!
p.s. Your comments/likes are most welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching