Happiness, Part 2
It was great to see everyone’s comments and emails regarding the last blog on happiness. Since it seems like a popular topic, let’s stick with it for one more post.
A lot of us spend our time (especially in our 20s and 30s) accumulating stuff – houses, careers, romantic partners, cars, etc – only to find that these things don’t make us much happier. Which makes a lot of sense, since the research shows those things external to us only account for 10% of our happiness.
Brian Andreas’ “Dark Garden”
In my last blog, I concentrated on a number of the proven practices to boost the 40% of your happiness that you can influence (i.e., practicing gratitude, living in the present, and committing to your goals). However, another way to increase our happiness, aka positivity, is to decrease our negativity.
In the book “Positivity” by Barbara Fredrickson, we are encouraged to aim for a ratio of three uplifting, heartfelt positive thoughts/experiences for every one negative thought/experience that we endure. Have no idea what your ratio is? Take the quiz in Fredrickson’s book or online at www.positivityratio.com/single.php and start becoming aware of your positivity ratio today.
If your ratio isn’t 3:1, don’t worry; about 80% of the population is at 2:1. In fact, the lower your score, the more beneficial it can be to start by decreasing your negativity. This may sound like a big shift for pessimists, worriers and perfectionists, but it is possible! Negativity-reducing activities include disrupting over-thinking by disputing gratuitous negative thoughts; distracting oneself from ruminations; avoiding suppressing negative thoughts and emotions; being a mindful and non-judgmental observer of your thoughts; and becoming aware of and addressing any “negativity land mines” such as gossip and sarcasm, toxic relationships, and non-stop newscasts containing violence.
By making an effort to decrease your negativity, you’ll increase your positivity ratio – and prepare yourself to concentrate on other pleasurable positivity activities.
Want an easy way to shift into positivity in this moment? Just ask yourself, “What’s going right for me right now?” : )
C’mon everybody, get happy!