Choosing Kindness
“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King, Jr.
I’ve been contemplating taking a break from the news and from Facebook; the ongoing violence and loss in our country is heartbreaking – and this last week, unbearable. The anger, sadness and divisiveness are overwhelming, and my instinct has largely been to withdraw from the conversation. Here’s what I would like to share…
Several years ago, I had the privilege of seeing the Dalai Lama speak. He said that we must love our enemies because otherwise they may never witness love or know what it looks like. We have to model the behavior we want. We have to give what we want to get – even though we may never get it.
This is one of the essential concepts in coaching: 100% responsibility. It says “I have 0% control over you; I have 100% control over how I choose respond to you.” I am always at choice, and I am always entirely responsible for my behavior. (Although sometimes I may need to take a little time before I respond, so that I have a response I will be proud of.)
I choose to respond to recent events with love and kindness. I empathize with people’s sadness and loss. I try not to judge others if my views differ from theirs; I don’t accept bigotry or hatred in any form, but I understand that people are more than just how they act out their fear. And some days, in order to show love and kindness to myself, I may need to take a break from the news. These are my choices. What are yours?
I send my loving energy and prayers to everyone, especially those who are coming together to participate in a peaceful, thoughtful conversation about how to make the positive changes our country needs to make. I am hopeful that our collective kindness will be greater than our fear.
xoxo
p.s. Your comments are most welcome on this post at https://www.facebook.com/jenfrankcoaching